Imperfectly Perfect
by BathedinTwilight
Summary: Alissa Moore had never imagined that her life would end up like this. She was partying too much, skipping school, sleeping with random guys, and dangerously close to loosing all control of her life, but when a run in with the cops sends her running into a funeral where she meets a broken, beautiful boy by the name of Zak Anderson will her life be changed forever?
1. Polar Opposites

Chapter 1

Alissa Moore

The party was in full swing now, heavy bass is blaring from the humongous sound system in the two story mansion. I could feel it jolt my body every time a beat came into play. The contents of my red cup sloshed dangerously as I swayed with the pounding song on the couch in some stranger from the football team's living room. I took a swig from the cup and grimaced, it tasted disgusting, but it was doing what it was supposed to.

It was hard to focus on one thing at a time because of the people moving on the make shift dance floor and my fuzzy drunken mind. People of all different social classes and clicks danced and jumped to the beat of the obnoxious LMFAO music, or made-out with one another in various corners. I rose from the coach with wobbly legs and pushed my way through the too rowdy crowd of high schoolers. I snorted in laughter at some of their drunken personalities, nothing but another Friday night for me though.

'They need to learn to hold their booze,' I thought as I reached the ugly blue kitchen, that oddly reminded me of a hospital room. I staggered to the table with multiple cheap bottles of alcohol and picked up the first bottle of vodka I saw. I slowly made my way to the fridge and then grabbed another bottle of beer for later, and headed upstairs to be alone.

I unknowingly found myself wandering into a bedroom with a giant beige bed in the center of it. A huge head-ache ripped through my head from the climb up the stairs and I plopped down onto the bed. A good looking guy who I recognized from the football team came into the room, took one look at me and shut the door, clicking the lock simultaneously.

He began to stumble towards me and gave me a crooked smile. He sat down on the bed and leaned closer into my body. The boy was clearly high by the smell of his breath and glossy eyes.

"Hey," I said casually, but he didn't respond, instead he pushed me and my back and roughly locked his lips to mine. They were rough and tasted like beer.

"I want you," his words were slurred as he began to kiss me harder. He climbed on top of me and hovered over my body, as his hands wondered all over my body, while he kissed my neck.

My eyes were burning due to his poisonous breath, but I blinked the pain away and pulled the drunken jock closer.

His tongue poked at my clenched teeth as if he were knocking for me to let him into my house. I stubbornly kept my jaw locked, not ready for tongue yet, but apparently he didn't seem to mind my opinion. He pulled away suddenly leaving me panting. I hadn't realized I was breathing during our make out session. The room spun leaving me more light-headed than before.

Then he finally lay down on top of me, pressing our bodies together. He kissed the entire length of my body stopping at the hem of my tiny black dress. I was so turned on I could hardly even focus my eyes on him and then as my luck would have it the body promptly passed out and fell to the floor.

When I finally refocused my eyes and slowed my breathing, my cheeks turned bright red. I was too embarrassed to even glimpse at him as I sat up. My eyes remained glued to the ceiling as I thought about what had just happened. I couldn't help but imagine what the boy would look like naked.

I gently scooted over the bed and knelt down on the floor next to the passed out jock, and got my first good look at him. His skin was dark along with his hair, though it was hard to tell what color it was with the lights dimmed. He had full pink lips that made me just want to kiss him all night. The man was extremely sexy in my mind.

I sat up a little bit and looked around the edge of the door to make sure no one was coming, by the sound of it, the party was still raging on down stairs. I tentatively placed my hand on his chest, I could feel his chest rising and falling steadily as he breathed. I carefully dragged my hand down his body to his belt and began to undo the buckle. Goosebumps rose all the way up my arms; this was so morally wrong.

I withdrew my hand and stood up, shaking my head as the room started spinning. I didn't want to be perceived as some cheap hooker. There was a loud knock at the front door that distracted me from my spinning head. Somebody had shut the music off downstairs.

But before I could even walk out the door to see what had happened someone screamed, "COPS!"

I looked out the window to make sure this was true, and my suspicions were confirmed by all the men in blue uniforms standing on the lawn and the blue and red lights from the police cars flashing outside.

"Police, everyone down, this is a drug bust!" they all yelled from downstairs.

People from all over ran and screamed in every which direction. The police started grabbing people and leading them out to the squad cars as they called for backup on their walkie talkies.

_Oh god, I can't go to jail! _ I kept screaming in my head over and over.

I ran to the other side of the room and wrenched open the window; stepping on the guy who practically raped my mouth in my desperation to escape. Good thing there was a roof on the deck below. Now to just pray it can support my weight.

I crawled on my hands and knees, wincing every time I moved forward. The rough shingles felt like the coarse grains of sand paper against my skin. I scoot to the edge of the roof and look down to notice it isn't too far of a fall. I leapt from the roof and rolled when I touched down on the grass. I got up quickly and broke into a full sprint towards the bright lights of the city.


	2. That Fateful Night

Chapter 2

Zackary Anderson

_Such a beautiful funeral, _I thought as I looked around at all the people gathered to say goodbye to the dead teenager inside the expensive casket. The teen, who was lying peacefully at rest, had golden blond hair, medium toned skin; of course darkened with makeup to give him that 'just sleeping look.' If his eyes could open they would have been the vibrant hazel that I remember so vividly. I looked down at Luke as tears formed in my eyes. Luke Snyder my best friend, my partner in crime, and my blood brother since we were eight.

The tears in my eyes began to flow from my eyes and pour down my face. _No, I promised myself I wouldn't do this,_ I thought, trying to reign in some sense of control. My hand came up to my face as I tried to scrub away the never ending tears. My effort was futile; I haven't stopped crying since the night Luke died. How was I supposed to be strong when he couldn't be?

I have never felt so broken in my life. It feels as if I'm collapsing in on myself. My heart ached for not his family, but also for Luke himself. I had no idea how miserable he was, how big a part of himself he had been hiding from the world for so long. Luke had only told me the deep, dark secret he kept buried for three years, that fateful night he had decided it was too much and ended his own life.

*Flashback*

_Silence fell upon us as we sat on the steps attached to Luke's front porch. He had called me twenty minutes ago and asked me to come over immediately. When I had asked why he simply said that he had something important to tell me. His voice broke on the word 'important' and his words came out in no more than a whisper. I threw on the first hoodie I was and sprinted to his house as fast as I could and now here we sit in heavy silence. _

_I let out a heavy sigh and turned to face Luke, "So what did you want to…..are you crying? Luke what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything. Right?" I'm frantic now, I have never seen Luke cry before, and he was always the rock in our friendship. _

_Luke shakily wiped away his tears, obviously forcing himself not to cry and his voice not to crack when he murmurs, "They don't want me anymore." _

"_Who doesn't want you anymore?" I question, now extremely confused. _

"_My parents, I told them something that they didn't want to hear. It's the same thing I'm trying to build up the courage to tell you, but I don't know if I can deal with another rejection tonight," Luke replied, his voice sounded strained, like he was trying not to sob._

_I turn to give him a questioning look when I notice a packed bag sitting next to him. I watch him follow my gaze and when he turns back to me his face is blank. It held none of the torment or pain it had held mere moments ago. He resembles a robot now, unable to feel. I'm afraid of this look on Luke's face; he's normally so full of emotion, you could tell what he was thinking with one look at his face. _

"_Please, Luke just talk to me. It can't be that bad," I say trying to be reassuring. _

_He can't look me in the eye as he utters the words that will change both of our lives forever, "Zak, I-I-I'm g-gay. I'm s-so s-s-sorry I d-didn't tell you s-sooner," he stutters and stumbles through the sentence as tears stream down his face again. _

_Everything makes perfect sense now, why he had been so distant, why he skips hanging out with me, and why he is always staring into space when we were at school. He is gay. My best friend is gay and seeing someone who is a boy, a boy who goes to our school in fact. How could everything suddenly make sense, in yet I am so angry and shocked and confused. I can't help it I turn to him and start to explode._

"_How could you even consider not tell me something as big as this? We are supposed to be best friends Luke, but now I feel like I never even knew who you really were!" I shout._

"_I'm still me Zak! I just like guys!" Luke shouts back at me in defense._

"_You know what I just need some time to cool off and think about this lie that you call a friendship! Until then, if ever, I'm done being friends with you Luke. Don't talk to me until I decided that I'm ready to speak to you. I'll find you don't come looking for me because my reputation would be ruined if the school saw me hanging out with a fag. Just answer me this question before I leave. How long have you known?" I ask disgustedly._

"_Three years," he replies brokenly, "I'm so sorry Zak. I don't blame you for reacting this way."_

_I can literally see him falling apart right before my eyes and for once I don't give a damn about it. _

"_I can't believe you," I spat at Luke before walking away. Little did I know that would be the last time I ever spoke to my best friend while he was still living._

_*End of Flashback*_

I shake off the memories running through my head because they hurt too much to think about. I feel like a monster for the things I said to him that dreadful night. It was my fault that my best friend was lying in his casket way too early in his life. Luke was dead and I'm going to have to live with the fact of that it's my fault for the rest of my life. Thinking about these things just made me sob harder than I was before. He is gone and there is nothing I can do or say to bring him miraculously back to life. I feel helpless; like I have hit a dead end and now the person chasing me has won.

I look over into the corner of the room to see his parents holding each other as each of their bodies rack with sobs. My heart went out to the parents who lost their only son.

"Your parents didn't mean the things they said and did to you and neither did I. They have never stopped loving you and I'm sure they never will," I whisper to Luke, knowing full well he cannot hear me.

I stand up from my kneeling position at the casket and look over to see Luke's boyfriend, Noah, sobbing into his step-mother's shoulder. My heart clenches at the sight and a fresh wave of guilt washes over me as I stare at the broken hearted boy, my own eyes filling with even more tears. I can't take the pain of knowing I ruined someone else's life besides Luke's, his parents, and my own.

As I tear my eyes away from Noah I see a girl in a tiny, black dress, holding a pair of matching black heels in her hand, standing by the door. I knew her from somewhere, but for some reason I just couldn't put a name to the unforgettable girl. Her hot pink highlights, fair skin, and emerald green eyes made her impossible not to recognize, let alone notice. She's lucky she hasn't been spotted yet because sticks out like a sore thumb here.

Now I know where she's from. She goes to school with me and we have study hall together. I never hang out with or talk to her, hell I don't even know her name. The only thing I do know about her is that she didn't even know Luke. So why is she here? Who does she think she is ruining my best friend's funeral? But most importantly why is her head whipping around like she's looking for somewhere to hide while she regains her breath?


	3. Do I Know You From Somewhere?

Chapter 3

Alissa

The whole room fell silent; it seemed as if the attention of every single guest was on me. I spot someone across the room that looks semi- familiar to me, Zak Anderson, I realize after a few seconds of awkward staring at the handsome jock. I try to slow down my heavy breathing as I made my way towards the familiar face.

His brownish black hair, usually combed and pristine, was messy and falling into his cerulean blue eyes, which are swollen and rimmed red from crying. A blush rushes across my face, wrong day for an escape; well at least I'm wearing black.

"Sorry I'm late," I huff and clumsily walk towards him.

I know I probably smell like the party, but it was best to play it cool.

"Your friend was a great guy," I say to him as I look down at the beautifully lined, silk casket, surrounded by sympathy flowers.

He doesn't respond, just standing there like a block of ice. _Crap I don't even know this guy's name, I think._ I scan the room for quickly for any sign of the dead boy's name. I spot a stand with pictures of the boy with family and friends. His name is printed in elegant script, Luke Snyder. I suddenly remember him; he had been the star pitcher on the baseball team and had a full ride to Stanford, why did he decide to take his life with no warning what so ever?

I take a deep, dramatic breath before continuing, "Luke was a good friend of one of my best friends, but I didn't know him very well. We meant a few times and he seemed like such a happy, wonderful person. Why did he do this all of the sudden?"

I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth, but I'm desperately curious. _Maybe these insensitive questions spewing from me will make him unfreeze, I think_, but still nothing came from his stone cold mouth.

He turns the full force of those cold eyes on me, "You don't even know him."

His voice breaks as he says, "I wish it was me in that casket."

The words are dark and so meaningful to me.

"What do you mean by that?" I question, curious yet again of what all of this is about.

"I mean that Luke was a good person. He had everything to live for, a boyfriend, friends, good grades, a family that loved him dearly, a college scholarship to an Ivy League school, and a possible career in baseball. Luke had a whole entire future ahead of him, but I'm going to be stuck in this town for the rest of my goddamn life!" he cries as tears stream down his face.

I giggle when he says boyfriend, but then the reason that Luke killed himself smacks me in the face like a huge boulder. Luke was gay and couldn't deal with the aftermath of everyone finding out. Did that mean Zak was gay too? He was his best friend after all.

It is as if he can read my mind and shakes his head, pointing across the room at a good- looking, dark haired boy, and seemingly crying bucket upon buckets of tears. He looks like he is already in college and is extremely tall, maybe _he goes to Stanford like Luke was supposed to_, and I think sadness clouding my thoughts.

As I tear my eyes away from the heart wrenching scene, I see police officers standing in the doorway.

My whole body freezes as they say, "Has anybody suspicious passed through here tonight."

_Shit!_ I scream at myself, _why the hell do I have to be so damn stupid and think they wouldn't fucking follow me into a funeral home?_

"Are you serious? You're at a funeral dude," some jocks in the crowd say to the police officers.

They mumble apologies as they turn away from the large wooden doors and back into the dark streets.

I look up at Zak, his eyes are dark, menacing even as he says, "Thanks for ruining my best friend's funeral."

I try to reach out and stop him to apologize, but he's too fast for me and storms out before the words can leave my mouth. I refuse to give up and follow him outside. I stand back and watch as he sits down on the curb and shoves beautiful, broken face into his hands.

I move away from the doors and quietly sit down next to him. Before I even know what I'm doing I reach my hand up and place it on his shoulder as a sign of comfort. He stubbornly shrugs it off, rejecting my attempt at consoling him.

"If I haven't already stepped over all the boundaries and overstayed my welcome, if you ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to call," I say handing him my phone number as I stand up," I know we don't know each other but they say sometimes it's better to talk to someone who isn't a friend in this cases."

I take one last look at the destroyed boy and quickly avert my eyes, afraid of crying in front of him and making everything worse with my drama. This however does not stop me from bursting into tears as I turn the corner, out of his sight, and start the long journey home.


End file.
